Step 9 Amends A Practical Guide to Making Things Right in Recovery
Their diverse expertise ensures our resources and product are innovative, evidence-based, and effective. They guide our mission as accomplished individuals dedicated to improving the landscape of addiction recovery and mental wellness. Recovery.com combines independent research with expert guidance on addiction and mental what is Oxford House health treatment. Our mission is to help everyone find the best path to recovery through the most comprehensive, helpful network of treatment providers worldwide. When Jason Wahler first joined the cast of Laguna Beach as a senior in high school, his mental health and addiction struggles were already underway.
How do you make amends in your life?
Then, the next time around, make sure to make good on your word. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you. Sometimes recovering addicts feel unworthy of respect and love. This feeling can be https://lecourrierniger.com/what-is-moderate-drinking-defining-drinks-and/ especially strong with spouses, children, and other family members.
Examples of Making Amends in Recovery
“You’ve been awarded…”………………… when I tell you I almost cried….. You have no idea the weight you lifted off my tired shoulders. I immediately found a sober living with less requirements in an attempt to keep my job. Talking to my sponsor he flat suggested I get a new job anyway so I would have time to devote to my recovery. A week later I got a job offer from the University of Texas making even more money and with better benefits than I had at Tesla! Having the support of this scholarship to help me be able to stay in sober living has greatly increased my spiritual and emotional health.
- It is very important to recognize that the act of making amends is for you and not the other person.
- Before Step 9, one completes the Step 8 inventory, listing people they’ve harmed and developing a willingness to make amends.
- However, this future possibility should not keep you from working your steps.
- We likely promised to sober up in the past, only to revert to alcohol abuse or another drug of choice.
- An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took.
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When planning, start with the people closest to you and create a communication strategy. Be mindful of the potential for harm when reaching out and prepare for any difficult reactions. This preparation helps manage expectations and ensures a clear and compassionate mindset in approaching the process. Another example of a living amend could be to accept the fact we owe someone an amount of money we cannot currently pay all at once. We make a promise to pay an amount we can every month and begin on the day we make the face-to-face amends, and we have a set timeline for when all the money will be paid back. Our goal is to establish a relationship with high accountability and supportive sober living homes, allowing us to invest in a client’s success.
I knew I had to either find a new place or quit a great job. I almost decided to just sleep at the factory and never leave. Problem was I started at the end of a pay period and would have to wait 3 weeks to get paid! After a week and a half of working and somehow managing all the requirements at my sober living I fell into depression because I could not make up my mind, I was terrified of being homeless again. That sober living didn’t give you time to find a place, they kick you out same day they decide.
Our team will follow up with you after receiving your edits. Book Jason for speaking engagements, events or appearances and let him bring the message of recovery & hope. I hear this repeatedly when I talk to people, that what has resonated for so many years with people is the fact that Spock is an outsider and it’s okay and it’s cool.
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Many of us find it helpful to reflect on our amends after making each one. The harmed individual may still harbor resentment or distrust even after making amends. Rebuilding trust takes time and patience, and the person in recovery must be prepared to demonstrate their commitment to change through their ongoing actions and behavior. The goal is not only to seek forgiveness but also to promote healing, reconciliation, and personal growth for both you and the individuals involved.
Scholarships
The reason why it is better to make amends earlier rather than later is based on experience and case studies. Many recovering alcoholics have relapsed when they allowed their fears to block them from completing step nine. For example, Dr. Bob, one of the original founders of the AA program, could not stay sober until he went around town and made amends to all those he had hurt. Living amends demonstrate personal growth and commitment to change in recovery. It’s an alternative when direct amends cannot be made safely or might cause more harm.
- Recovery from addiction is a challenging journey, marked by personal transformation and self-discovery.
- But making amends isn’t just about saying, “I’m sorry.” It’s about taking responsibility, acknowledging the harm caused, and making changes that show genuine growth.
That reason is that each step provides the spiritual preparation we’ll need for the following steps. Never in a million years would we ever have imagined during our using days that we would one day be able to sit down with the people we’ve harmed and make direct amends! This would not be possible without the spiritual preparation we received from the previous steps. An indirect living amends amend is appropriate when direct communication might cause further harm, or someone we harmed has passed away. These involve acknowledging faults and resolving to live well in the future to make up for past wrongs.
I had the option to move back to my parents’ house in the same old town and around the same old people with who I spent my time within my addiction. I knew that all it would take was one single moment of weakness, one split second, for me to call one of them up if I found myself craving a drink or drug. The idea that it would all be so readily available to me was too scary to fathom, so I knew that going to my parents’ house was suddenly no longer an option for me. I still go up to Any Length Retreat, where I got sober to talk with all the guys up there as well. Last week I chaired an H&I, and just yesterday, I picked up my first ever sponsee, who is also at Any Length Retreat. I didn’t know if I was qualified, but I was told since I’ve been through step 8 with my sponsor and continue to do 9,10,11, and the others daily that, of course, I’m ready.